Seniors say the darnedest things
(Being Catholic ... Really by Pam Spano and musings on being a senior)
My husband plays the organ for Mass at a senior living center. When COVID hit, the facility went on lockdown. There was no Mass and definitely no senior choir. When things opened up, my husband returned to play and I joined him to sing. Though the choir is not back, the residents are grateful for some sense of normality.
Over the years we’ve gotten to know several of the people who live there. It’s always refreshing to come across the different personalities. Most are pretty sharp and have a great attitude. Despite age, health issues and being locked up for nearly two years because of COVID, many of these seniors are moving forward and enjoying their lives.
What I’ve been noticing since our return is that many of these people have a great sense of humor! There are a few that are wickedly funny!
Some of you will remember the old Art Linkletter show, Kids Say the Darnedest Things. Well here’s the senior version:
A couple celebrated their 75th wedding anniversary. The husband stated that they only had one argument in all that time. He added that it was the same ongoing argument, but nonetheless, just one.
At Mass the lector got up to do the readings. As he rose from his chair, he realized his pants were falling down. In fear of mooning the congregation, he grabbed them and pulled them up. After Mass he related the incident to those who had gathered for coffee. One of the nuns leaned over to him and said, “I hope you weren’t expecting applause.”
Me: (waving) Hi Bob! Bob: (looking confused) Me: It’s me, Pam. Danny’s wife. Bob: (smiling and walking toward me) Oh, hi! Me: You didn’t recognize me, did you? Decided to come over and check out the new blood? Bob: Yeah, I thought I’d better check it out before anyone else got there first!
As my uncle used to say, “He’s so dry, he’d fart dust.”
And closer to home (but still a senior):
You know Columbus brought the tomato to Italy. Remember that? (By the expressions on the faces, I don’t think anyone did!)
(Photo copyrighted by Pam Spano 2022)
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